Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
