Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
