So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
