I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
