My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
