if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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