Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
