Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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