Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
