Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Farmville is her only friend.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
