you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
