ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
