I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
