my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
