All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
should my penis look like a turkey
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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