My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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