I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
