last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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