K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
