dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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