I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
