he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
