She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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