Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
