I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Randomize
