Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
