idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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