That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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