Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize