Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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