you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just cut my nipple shaving
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'm having to shit out rocks
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
