Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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