i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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