I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I am naked and annoyed.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
