I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I party with great urgency now.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
