Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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