i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
