Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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