Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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