Is it normal to miss your booty call?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I said "one day" and that day is not today
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
