Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
