Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
NoShamevember. You game?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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