It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
