She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
