another moral hangover. fuck.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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