I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
