So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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