i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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