Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
