Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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