Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
