We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
