Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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