it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
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